How might we strive to lead a meaningful life?
Seemingly simple questions like this have kept minds much wiser than mine busy for generations. But by reflecting on our perspectives and values, we can illuminate a clearer path through life that’s right for us.
I still fall short of my ideals each day. Yet as I approach thirty-three, I wanted to share three guiding principles I’ve found both powerful and practical.
The overarching ideas are far from unique. But I’d like to think my interpretation and application of them are. I hope your consideration of these concepts brings you some value too.
Be kind.
Want a more fulfilling life? Start by being more generous to people.
I’m not talking about excessive donations to charity or sacrificing our happiness for others. I’m talking about each small (and large) interaction we shape and contribute to.
So be the one to give the flustered barista serving you a break. Be the one to lower the temperature in a tense situation. Be the one to hold your tongue.
Kindness isn’t a zero-sum pursuit. There’s a humble warmth we receive by bringing more calm and grace into the world.
That may seem naive in theory, particularly when we’ve felt unfairly wronged.
But being kind isn’t the same as being nice or tolerating cruel intentions. So stay strong in your values and character. Yet approach people from a place of generosity—not grievance. And when someone’s questionable intent may be ambiguous? Interpret it at first with warmth and understanding.
Why have I led this article with a concept that feels more appropriate for toddlers? Because the lack of kindness—and the rise of resentment, outrage and vengeance—begets more of the same. It fuels a vicious downward cycle between people and within communities.
Equally, be kind to yourself. We might regret what we’ve done or fret about what’s to come. (More on this soon.) And online, we might compare ourselves to funnier, fitter, more successful people.
A healthy dose of inspiration fuels our potential. But ambition can become crippling if it’s not alloyed with an equal measure of compassion towards our human fallibilities and accepting factors beyond our control.
Be kind. We all get frustrated. We all have egos. So seek to move through the world with grace and generosity. And love deeply.
Be curious.
The power and potential of a curious mindset became crystalised for me in 2020.
Like me, you may have cultural touchpoints that shaped your experience that year. One of mine was Ted Lasso, which soon became a salve for our collective sorrows. Beyond the gritty dramas and edgy anti-heroes, here arrived a show that championed kindness (see above), trying to do right by people and becoming the best version of ourselves.
One line in particular—delivered as Ted advises the sole seemingly irredeemable antagonist—still resonates with me: Be curious, not judgemental.
Being curious is a two-fold process. Firstly and more passively, approach each moment and person from a starting point of openness. Leave your pre-formed opinions and expectations behind.
Secondly and more actively, strive for a deeper understanding of situations. Listen to those around you and seek out the voices of people who may feel silenced or sidelined.
Welcome ideas or perspectives that challenge you. You don’t always have to change your current view. But try to be open to the possibility of doing so.
As I’m approaching my mid-thirties, the concept of curiosity is a timely one. Children are innately curious about the world they’re discovering. Yet as we mature and accumulate more knowledge, our opinions calcify.
Paradoxically, the more we know, the more we become blinded by our beliefs, baggage and biases. That’s why embracing curiosity serves as a check against arrogance.
Be curious. Stay hungry to know more and stay humble about being wrong. Strive to gain a clearer picture of the world as it is—not as we assumed it was.
Be here now.
For much of my life, I would ruminate on my past actions and dwell on thoughts of: What if? Likewise, my mind would just as often race ahead, trying to optimise my next three actions and calculate likely outcomes.
I’d also look to escape and evade boredom at all costs. I’d withdraw from my surroundings and search for a digital dopamine hit. I found myself (and it did become a passive habit) filling every five seconds by scrolling mindlessly through my phone.
Yet as I’ve lived and read more broadly, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of how others before me have found meaning and happiness.
The path ahead can be wildly unpredictable and even the most considered decisions bend to factors beyond our control. That’s not an endorsement of apathy and chaos. But it led me to a foundational realisation.
Accept what’s happened. Consider what’s next. Yet remain grounded in the present.
Centring ourselves in the current moment reminds us that we have agency over our attention and what we ascribe meaning to. Be mindful during unplanned moments of awe, love and delight—these serendipitous feelings are what I remain grateful for.
Here’s a mundane yet personally meaningful example. During the summer holidays I’ve watched hours (okay, days) of cricket with my family. But my highlights were the unscripted moments: jumping off the couch to cheer a sudden catch (and scare our poor dog) and then wallowing in our shared sorrows during a flurry of lost wickets. These smaller moments fill my life at large with meaning.
Be here now. Your mind may still drift back to what was and look forward to what could be. Yet return to this moment that’s unfolding around you.